Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
