just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
