My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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