he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
