Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
