Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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