i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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