Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
