Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
