my mouth tastes like poor choices
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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