it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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