I just cut my nipple shaving
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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