The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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