I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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