three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
