why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
