This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
