Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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