Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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