in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
