fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
