The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I enjoy the company of your penis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
