before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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