forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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