Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
