problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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