then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
