but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
