So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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