I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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