Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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