We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
as a side note pls kill me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
