what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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