just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
