you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
