everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
