You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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