So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
