Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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