these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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