i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
