If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
