Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
