I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
