Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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