i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
well you can't waste a boner
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
