Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize