Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just googled if crying burns calories
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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