I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
