Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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