Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
