thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
