You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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