I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
