i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
