We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
