I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize