let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
