What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
