Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize