the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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