You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
